Hmmmm… tough day. I've not long returned from my first *ever* funeral. While I didn't get especially emotional during the service it did bother me to have to watch so many other people become so completely distraught at the loss of a friend/family member. It especially saddened me to see the son of the person who had passed away so physically upset at the loss of his mother. I've known him since birth and even baby sitted for him on a few occasions and never in the 14 years I've known him can I recall seeing him upset. Something else happened today. I've had a bit of a moment of realisation. Realisation that I am a cold person who is horrendously self conscious in emotional situations. Today I saw people I've known for a long time upset and not had the nerve or feeling to go and comfort them. I don't know why but I just couldn't bring myself to do it.

I'm annoyed at myself and I think I'm going to be sitting down and having a good hard think tonight. I'm such a shit.

Categorised as: Ye Olde Blog