Ever wonder about those people in meetings who say they are giving more than 100%?
And we have all been to those meetings where someone wants over 100%.
How about achieving 103%? Here is a little math that might prove helpful. If: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
Is Represented as: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26
H A R D W O R K =
8 1 18 4 23 15 18 11 = 98%
K N O W L E D G E is
11 14 15 23 12 5 4 7 5= 96%
A T T I T U D E =
1 20 20 9 20 21 4 5 = 100%
B U L L S H I T =
2 21 12 12 19 8 9 20 = 103%
So, it stands to reason that hard work and knowledge will get you close, and attitude will get you there but Bullshit will put you over the top.
And if you didn't already know it, look how far Ass kissing will take you!
A S S K I S S I N G =
1 19 19 11 9 19 19 9 14 7 = 127% !!!!!!!!!!
I hope this helps explain where you went wrong in your career.
In order to help try and raise some money for the purchase of this new house me and the missus are attempting to cut all our excess financial ties. At the moment we own two cars, stephs Peugeot 206 and My Vauxhall Corsa. Steph lives really close to where she works, so we've decided in an effort to save money we're going to sell one of the cars. My car has the smaller engine and less doors so we've decided it's gonna be mine that gets the boot. So the car is now for sale. It's a V ('99) plated Vauxhall Corsa In Silver. It's got a piddley 1.0 engine, but it's the 12Valve variant, so it's surpisingly nippy for around town and what's more its low tax and insurance groups as well, so it's ideal for new drivers. The car is the GLS model, so it comes with some added extra's which include heated rear window, heated electric mirrors, electric windows and rear headrests (nothing amazing, but its not standard stuff on these cars!). I've also added an aftermarket Kenwood CD/radio player and Pioneer 6×9 speakers (which are one of the best sets available on the market) mounted on a professionally built and carpeted MDF Stealth Shelf which helps stop the vibrations AND gives you something solid to put your parcels on! (if you have any!). Thats nearly ?500 worth of stereo equipment! What's more its got a full 12 Months MOT and 6 Months tax.
All I'm asking for this car is ?3,500 o.n.o. its a great little car and I'm sad to see it go, but its the car or the house and I don't think I fancy living in the car!
If your interested in seeing the car, drop me an email on email@example.com
I'll post some pictures up soon!
Hello everybody, well andy has finally let me post on his site and now that he has i dont know what to say. Dont you find thats always the way. Anyway just gonna keep it short and sweet cus its time for bed. Im going to leave you with my personality test results just so you can get an idea of what im like, dont believe everything you read though.
Which Personality Disorder Do You Have?
brought to you by Quizilla
Ladies and Gentlemen. If I could have your attention for just one second, may I introduce to you… Miss Stephanie Warburton. Yup… You've heard me talk about her, winge about her and I'm sure you all know she's my other half. Well now you can hear her bitchin about me as well. Yup from now on, greendezire is the blog of Andy and Steph… Be nice to her everyone!
Hmmm… we sent off the application for the morgage on our new house nearly a week ago now, and we havent yet heard back from the company. How long do these things take? I'm already stressed to the max and we havent even got as far as moving in yet! I'm actually quite looking forward to getting my own place. Its gonna be cool to have the freedom to walk round butt naked without having to worry about anyone seeing me and its gonna be great being able to put my own stamp on the place and make it feel like home.
I don't think I've really felt “at home” since my dad moved his girlfreind in. Suddenly she started putting her crap all over the place and turning it into an old granny hovel. We're talking yellowing nets in the window, tartan throws on the sofa, doileys on the tables. Eugh! that woman had no taste! Eventually It felt so unlike my home that I had to move out and now I'm staying with my Fianc?'s parents until we can get our own place. It's natural really that I don't feel at home here either, I mean it's nice n all, but its just not *home*.
Shouldnt be long until I know whats going on… ooooh the nerves of it all! )
I came across this today, and I think that finally I'll have a good excuse when the missus asks me why I always want to go out drinking. In one episode of 'Cheers', Cliff is seated at the bar describing the 'Buffalo Theory' to his buddy Norm. I don't think I've ever heard the concept explained any better than this…
“Well you see, Norm, it's like this… A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo and when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members. In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Now, as we know, excessive drinking of alcohol kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. And that, Norm, is why you always feel smarter after a few beers.”
Yup… its that time of the year again. The time of year where I put something online that will make me look like a complete and utter idiot. This time I've taken to recording myself playing with the latest toy for the Playstation2 - The Eyetoy. Eye Toy is essentially a little tiddly webcam that plugs into your PS2 via USB and lets you interact with the games on screen. With it comes “eyetoy play” which is essentially a collection of fun “party games” designed for use with the camera.
Anyways… I've played it, taken some little movies with my digital camera and put them online for your your amusement! At the moment, theres two vids up, one of me playing the “beat freak” game and one of the missus playing the “boogie down” dance game
Check out Eye Toy Retards!
As sung by the ever funny Chris Moyles on the radio one breakfast show this morning: (sing to the tune of “tis the season to be jolly”).
T'is the season to be horny
Fa la la la, la la la la
Chocolates, Flowers all things corny
Fa la la la, la la la la
In the lounge a candle flickers
Fa la la la, la la la la
I just can't wait to get in your knickers
Fa la la la, la la la LAAAAA!
As far as hosting goes, the only thing you need to know about bandwidth is this: Bandwidth is the amount of traffic your website can recieve until your hosting provider either starts charging you for excess usage or cuts off your website.
If you have a large site with lots of heavy downloads (large photos, music files or flash movies etc) and you expect to recieve lots of traffic your gonna need lots of bandwidth. If you expect your traffic to go through the roof after an advertising campaign, your gonna need lots of bandwidth. If you have porn on your site, your gonna need lots of bandwidth.
How can you reduce your bandwidth usage? Optimize, optimize, optimize.
Firstly optimize all of your photo's and graphics. Macromedia Fireworks is a great tool for this, or failing that there are loads of free ones available online. Remember, photographs should be optimised as JPEG's, graphics with large blocks of colour should be GIF's).
It's also well worth taking steps to prevent people hotlinking to your images remotely. This can be done quite easily on Apache web servers using a .htaccess file. (more info here)
Secondly, optimise your code. If your still using the old way of doing things and piling in thousands of <font> tags then your code is going to be bloated and hog more bandwidth than is neccessary. Proper use of Cascading Style Sheets can reduce a long bloated peice of code from this:
<p><font face="verdanda, arial, courier" size="11"><bold>Bold Text</bold></font></p>
<p class="boldtext">Bold Text</p>
Get rid of code bloat and not only will your site use less bandwidth, but in team with image optimisation It'll also make your page load a hell of a lot quicker as well!
Thirdly, if you have downloads on your site make people register before allowing them to download the files. Sounds daft, but requiring registration will reduce the number of people that access your downloads in turn reducing the amount of bandwidth you use. This technique can also be used for photo galleries, movie archives and online games as well.
These three tips alone can massively reduce the amount of bandwidth your site requires and increase the page load time for your site and there are plenty more things that can be done, but I'll save them for another time.